Day Four - Harvard, Cambridge, MA

I think Harvard got the shaft in my evaluations, in some respect, because I came here last. If I go to another cocktail party, I think I'll barf. Ha ha, how eloquent for a Harvard admit. Point being, I was so sick of wine and cheese - and so hungry for the lack of an actual dinner - that I found myself eating the fruit garnishes. Fancy-cut orange halves, aesthetically arranged grapes, heck, I was tempted to grab the decorative half-pineapple and go to town. But apparently I still have a modicum of decorum left, because I did not give in to that temptation.

So. Harvard is polished, as you'd expect, and has some big selling points. Number one of course is name recognition all over the globe. Everyone has heard of and respects the name Harvard. It opens all kinds of doors, and the alumni networks are vast, global and supportive. Number two, Boston = cool. (Well, Cambridge anyway.) And safe. I walked back to my dorm alone after the bar and felt completely safe. That may be due to the hundreds of coeds swarming the streets... which I imagine could be either a fun social scene or incredibly wearing. (I can't imagine seeing nothing but twenty-somethings, or younger, day in and day out. I get sick of it at Whitman...)

Speaking of which, the class size is, like Yale, a plus and a minus. (I really think Columbia has the right idea with 350.) 700 people are just too many to know everyone. Yet it means there are more professors total available, more social networks, more diverse classes, and so on. I'm torn between hating the huge campus and big classes and really liking the idea that there are more fields to specialize in and more people to be exposed to.

Oh, I have a story about the campus, now that I think of it. So I had a horrible morning. I mean, getting on the train to Boston was fine. Did some reading, finished Bastard Out of Carolina, was depressed - especially in contrast to the ritzy, elitist atmosphere of law school admissions!!! Anyway, all good, until I arrived at the Harvard exit of the T-station (subway). The directions said turn right, but somehow, they must have meant turn left, or I got the directions for the wrong station, who knows. Either way, I ended up going at least half a mile in the wrong direction with two heavy bags and an overloaded backpack. No wheels of course, because I didn't want to take my "enormous" suitcase. And I don't know how to pack light. Or, arguably, pack reasonably at all.

So I got lost, and asked where the law school was and where to go. I was pointed in the right direction soon enough, which was the opposite way I had come and thus at least three-quarters of a mile back the other way. I got back to the T-station and was so exhausted. It might be good Marine Corps training but it is not how I'd planned on starting my Harvard weekend. I have raw spots on both my hands. But the drama did not end there. I continued asking for more specific directions to the hall where the admissions office is located. I asked about 10 people, I think, and some simply had no clue, whereas others should have just said that because they sent me off in wild directions and I got lost another three times or so.

Finally, about to collapse, I found the admissions office. It was empty and locked. What?!? I was about to give up right there, just park my bags and camp out until someone came along. But after a few minutes' repose, I realized my stomach was grumbling, and decided I could at least seek out some food. At least that was something students knew how to locate. I made my way to the dining hall/student lounge area without delay.

To my surprise, not only was food available, but I stumbled upon the admissions crew! They had sent an email to my new Harvard account with the details of where to meet on campus. But I think it's retarded to check my Harvard account when a) I am still a Whitman student and b) I'm not committed to go here, and am not even convinced I want to go here. So I didn't realize they would just send stuff to it that was really important instead of using the address I gave them.

But I got checked into my room, which, as I said, is an unoccupied dorm room, and went out to find some law students. The RA had bought pizza, so, as I had not availed myself of the boxed lunches provided by Admissions, I accepted that free food with glee. One of the girls hanging out said, "I swear, you will never get more free stuff in your life than as a Harvard Law student." The Dean has made a concerted effort to improve the morale of students here because they have a reputation of being miserable. There is free coffee in class buildings and after 9 pm at the library; there are tampons provided in the women's restrooms; there is a new ice skating rink open to HLS students put on top of the volleyball courts in the winter - all student requests that have been granted. Which is cool, but that is definitely not an adequate response to student misery unless the unhappiness is caused by lack of things to do (unlikely in Boston) or lack of funds to buy coffee or tampons (unlikely at Harvard). It's like a treatment of the symptoms instead of the root cause, it seems to me. Almost like bribing people to endure the hardship because at least you don't have to pay for your coffee. On the other hand, it might just be a general indicator that the Dean cares about students, which is what several people have assured me. In which case, maybe this would be a good place to come. They've really worked on narrowing the bureaucratic B.S., which sounds great (i.e. registration, etc.).

Mainly I guess my concern is here they have grades, and some people are super-competitive, whereas at Yale (all the time) and Columbia (in the first year at least) courses are just Pass-Fail. Yet I am sure you can be competitive anywhere or laid-back anywhere, depending on your attitude. I already know, however, that in a competitive environment I'll have a hard time not putting that pressure on myself. It might be nice just to eliminate that factor completely.

I spoke to a really cool upperclassman (2 or 3L) named Roy - again, gay, what is with me finding that community? They're all so frank and helpful though, I'm definitely not complaining - but at any rate, he told me that I'd probably get more attention here as a public interest person since 75% of people go to big firms. Again, the pressure is substantial to go into corporate law or a large legal firm, and a huge number of people come in as idealists with an interest or goal and go out as sell-outs seeking a job they don't care about just for the money.

Some of them think, "I'll just do it for a few years, pay back my loans and go back to by dream of being a [insert noble public interest field here]." But from speaking with a Columbia alumna who gave a talk, the rumors seem to be true that it doesn't ever work that way. You get on a track, and you are no longer willing to sacrifice the potential earnings, status and advancement for a less glorified position. You get sucked in. "There came a point where I thought, my loans are paid off, I could go if I want," she told me. "But by then, I didn't want to leave anymore." She said she was glad she stayed. (It's my spin that her decision is a negative one, not hers.) She said having kids and continuing in the profession was really hard, but doable. But as Roy told me, "There is almost a reinstatement of the glass ceiling. If you say you want kids, as a woman, you're automatically off the partner track." So I'm not sure what to believe.

I do know I think the firm thing is pretty icky. Here they sponsor student activities often, which basically means firms buy the law students alcohol all the time. "It's a major crisis in the field," Roy said. "So many students end up doing something that wasn't what they wanted or expected to be doing. They hate the day-to-day functions of their jobs, and all they do is work and then go out and drink. The hours are so long, some firms put beds in the offices, and for diversion there are weekly (or twice-weekly) cocktail parties...There's a huge number of alcoholics in the legal profession."

With my disgust with cocktail parties so evident after just five of them (JUST five? in four days? but anyway) I can't imagine that being part of my regular social routine. A couple times a year, fine. A couple times a week, not on your life. I wouldn't take to drinking, I think I would just jump off a bridge. Or quit. Something drastic, anyhow.

So the people really aren't nearly as bad as I expected. I think everyone expects snooty, snobby people, and they really aren't. They're smart and funny and friendly and open. At least, they are when they're new admits, and/or when they're with other Harvard students. Yet they certainly do seem to become accustomed to a certain privilige, to expectations that put them in a different category. They're used to being taken care of. They work hard in class, but are spoiled afterward. And perhaps I should say SOME work hard in class. Those who aren't competitive still get decent grades, even, according to Roy, when they don't go to class at all - after the first year, at least. And in this environment, anyone would get out of touch with reality. It's just the nature of the beast.

So I find myself a hardened cynic after less than a week of the North-Eastern Admitted Law Students circuit. I think I am choosing between the lesser of three evils here. Columbia seemed the most sinister, frankly, in terms of the subtle pervading corruption of wealth. (Wow, I sound like a communist; who would guess I'm a fiscal conservative? I like to think I'm "grounded," not anti-capitalist - since I'm not - but more specifically, I mean that I want to do something that will make me happy in itself. I don't think money buys happiness, but all these people buy into that myth, and, I can only assume, are largely miserable as a result.) Yet while Harvard has a larger genuine-interest-in-the-law component, it seems the least inviting and most challenging in terms of making friends, enjoying yourself and not either taking school too seriously or drinking a whole lot.

Thus I conclude - albeit before Harvard has had a completely fair shake, since most of their programs, especially academic, take place tomorrow and even Monday - that Yale is the most amenable institution given my interests, and despite numerous concerns about the town and social opportunities, the most appealing to me overall. If I don't get in, I don't know what I'll do. Visit Stanford, perhaps!